
What Should You Do With Your Parent's Cremains?
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Deciding what to do with your parents' cremains is a deeply personal decision that reflects your connection to them, their wishes, and your own values. Customers of Farmstead Scattering Garden sometimes remark that they have had their parents' ashes for years but do not know what to do with them. There are many meaningful ways to handle cremated remains, ranging from traditional practices to highly personalized memorials. Below is a guide to help you navigate this decision and find a fitting way to honor their memory.

1. Traditional Memorialization
Burying or Interring Ashes
One of the most common choices is to bury the ashes in a cemetery plot or inter them in a columbarium (a structure designed to hold urns). This option provides a permanent place for remembrance and is ideal for families who value having a physical site to visit. Many cemeteries offer options for cremation-specific plots or niches in mausoleums.
- Benefits: A permanent location for memorialization; the ability to visit and honor their memory on anniversaries or other significant days.
- Considerations: Costs associated with burial or interment, including purchasing a plot, an urn, and any required permits.
Keeping the Ashes at Home
Another traditional choice is to keep the ashes in an urn at home. This can provide a sense of closeness and continuity with your loved ones. Urns come in various designs, from classic to modern, and can be personalized with engravings, photos, or other meaningful details.
- Benefits: Keeps your loved ones’ memory physically close; allows for private moments of reflection.
- Considerations: Consider how you or future generations will care for the urn over time.

2. Ash Scattering Services
Natural Locations
Scattering ashes in a location that was significant to your parents is a poignant way to honor their memory. Common choices include beaches, mountains, forests, lakes, or even their backyard. Each scattering can be accompanied by a private ceremony, making the act deeply symbolic and personal.
- Benefits: Allows a symbolic return to nature or a place they loved.
- Considerations: Check local regulations to ensure scattering is permitted in public spaces. Some locations require permits.
Scattering Gardens
If you prefer a dedicated and peaceful space, scattering gardens are an excellent option. These are specially designated areas, often located within cemeteries or private properties, for scattering cremated remains.
Farmstead Scattering Garden offers a mail-in scattering garden service. It is perfect for those looking for a meaningful way to celebrate a loved one's life or those planning for themselves.
A unique feature of Farmstead Scattering Garden is your ability to customize the ash spreading with options related to timing, weather, and experiences. Once scattered, loved ones can keep up-to-date on farm happenings through their Facebook page.
- Benefits: Provides a tranquil, maintained space for remembrance.
- Considerations: Typically involves a fee, though it’s generally less costly than traditional burial.
3. Creative and Unique Memorials
Planting a Tree or Garden
Mixing the ashes with soil or incorporating them into biodegradable urns designed to grow a tree creates a living, growing memorial. This option can be particularly meaningful if your parents were nature lovers or enjoyed gardening.
- Benefits: Creates a lasting tribute that evolves and grows over time; supports the environment.
- Considerations: Requires space and long-term maintenance.
Incorporating Ashes into Artwork
Ashes can be transformed into stunning works of art, including glass sculptures, pottery, or paintings. Artists skilled in this process can create items that reflect your loved one’s personality and legacy.
- Benefits: A highly personal and beautiful keepsake that serves as both art and memory.
- Considerations: Costs can vary depending on the complexity and materials of the artwork.
Memorial Reef
For parents with a love for the ocean, ashes can be incorporated into reef balls that are placed in the sea to support marine life. This option combines memorialization with ecological sustainability.
- Benefits: Contributes to marine conservation efforts; creates a meaningful connection to the ocean.
- Considerations: Requires working with specialized organizations and may involve travel.
4. Shared or Divided Memorials
Splitting the Ashes
Dividing ashes among family members allows each person to create their own unique memorial. This is especially useful when family members live far apart or have differing preferences for memorialization.
- Benefits: Ensures everyone can honor their loved ones in their own way.
- Considerations: Some families may find the idea of dividing ashes uncomfortable.
Keepsake Jewelry and Miniature Urns
Ashes can be incorporated into wearable keepsakes such as lockets, bracelets, or rings. Alternatively, small portions of the ashes can be stored in miniature urns or keepsake boxes for close family members.
- Benefits: Provides a tangible connection to your loved ones; easy to keep close.
- Considerations: Costs vary based on the materials and craftsmanship of the keepsake.
5. Celebratory Memorial Events
Ceremonies or Gatherings
Holding a celebration of life or memorial ceremony can be a meaningful way to honor your parents. During the event, you can scatter their ashes, share memories, and celebrate their legacy.
- Benefits: Brings family and friends together to honor their memory collectively.
- Considerations: Requires planning and coordination, especially if you’re traveling to a specific location.
Travel Memorials
For parents who loved to travel, you can scatter ashes in multiple meaningful locations over time. This could include places they visited frequently or locations they always dreamed of seeing.
- Benefits: Honors their adventurous spirit; allows for a more dynamic memorial process.
- Considerations: Travel costs and logistics must be considered.

6. Following Their Wishes
If your parents expressed specific preferences for their ashes, it is important to honor their wishes as much as possible. This may involve detailed planning, but it can bring peace knowing you fulfilled their desires.
- Benefits: Aligns with their values and beliefs.
- Considerations: Requires clarity on their wishes and potential discussions with family members.
7. Legal and Practical Considerations
Before deciding, research the regulations in your area regarding the handling and scattering of ashes. Some locations, especially public spaces, have restrictions or permit requirements. Additionally, ensure that any chosen methods are respectful to the environment and others who may use the space.
8. Take Your Time
Finally, remember that there is no rush to make a decision. You can take as much time as you need to consider your options and discuss them with family members. If you’re unsure, keeping the ashes at home temporarily can provide time to reflect and plan.

Conclusion
Deciding what to do with your parents’ ashes is a deeply meaningful process. Whether you choose a traditional memorial, scattering ceremony, or creative tribute, the most important thing is that it reflects your parents’ values and provides you and your family with comfort and closure. Take the time to explore the options and choose one that resonates with your heart and honors their memory.